So my second satire piece was published today on The Daily Blank. Once again, I’ll repost the entire article here because their license allows it. But check ’em out some time—whether you live in Chicago or not, there’s something there for you.
Pyramid schemes help to alleviate Chicago unemployment
Bars, movie theaters, grocery stores, pyramid schemes. Some businesses tend to weather economic downturns particularly well—but it’s pyramid schemes that take more Chicagoans out of poverty and into prosperity, a new study finds.
According to a study that preferred to be unnamed for fear of retribution—pyramid schemes have been known to viciously pursue litigation—Chicagoans are beginning work with these types of companies at ever-increasing rates.
Masks that supposedly resemble the visage of Guy Fawkes, make popular in the movie V for Vendetta. (Photo from The Daily Blank)
Today I was published at The Daily Blank, Chicago’s only satire site that focuses on local issues.
For your enjoyment I’ll paste the entire article below, because their licensing allows it. Enjoy! …And I have one more piece in the queue, so look out.
Daley to ‘pull an Obama’ to fund CPS
In two about-face moves Tuesday, Chicagoans banded together to stand up to the Daley administration, and the Mayor decided to listen to the majority voice of the people.
Following a protest, Mayor Richard M. Daley issued an edict that every corporate executive who had received preferential treatment under the TIF program would voluntarily cut his or her income by 90 percent.
The mayor did not say what the consequences would be if said executives disobeyed, except that “the shit will hit the fan,” he told the throngs of cheering lower-middle-class people before him.